We all know what makes us happy and what puts us in a bad mood. We even know when we’re pretending – tolerating – for the sake of getting along or not making waves. When I’m tolerating or making myself deal with something, I get physically sick (like colds and flu) or else I injure myself in some way so that “I can’t participate”. It’s like I’m in a disagreement with myself. I can’t win.
Diane joins ThatGirlisFunny2 to share 5 steps that helped her successfully reveal (and take action on) a blind spot that kept her hiding out, blaming others and finding excuses for participating fully with her friends and family.
Diane’s story illustrates one of my
Stay Young Habit #29:
Stop tolerating people, places and things that don’t fit anymore. Notice how your mood shifts downwards around certain people or situations.
Blind spots. We all have them. Read Diane’s story and then look to see what you’ve been willing to tolerate. Take action! Otherwise, you might end up feeling like this cat. If you don’t like getting wet, stay away from the water. – Cheryl Ragsdale
Living Inside of My Blind Spot
For years, I lived a life shrouded in layers. I insulated myself with food, a few friends, and my family. The deeper I buried myself the less truth I was able to see.
I was morbidly obese for ten years. I pulled the curtain down over my goals, my life, and my health. The more I closed myself in, the less I was able to see my true self, and the light that still glimmered within. It wasn’t just my weight that was shutting me inside myself, but also the false self perception that I wasn’t worthy of the effort and attention it would take to shed my layers.
I comforted myself with food even though I knew what I was doing wasn’t good for me. The more isolated I became, the more I ate. The more I ate the less I moved. My participation in outside activities diminished.
I blamed other people for not inviting me to be a part of social occasions when in fact it was by my own choice. I rationalized my choices to the point where I felt that others were wrong and I was right.
Sometimes though, I was able to briefly glimpse the truth. I’d catch a reflection of myself in the mirror and really see what I had become. I’d volunteer for a community project and have to admit that I was afraid to participate. At times, my weight left me on the sidelines while my family went happily off on a grand adventure.
I was alone.
Thankfully, those moments of clarity happened with enough frequency that I became unable to continue hiding inside my layers. As hard as I tried to stop it, the real me kept bubbling to the surface, only to be squashed by my fear and insecurity.
But finally, I had enough moments of clarity to realize that I could change my life. And I did.
Finally, I allowed those curtains to part completely and looked myself straight in the eye. It wasn’t an easy task to admit that I needed to change and that the only one who could affect that change was me. But, change I did.
I stopped filling myself with chocolate while sitting on the couch and started making choices that were life affirming to me and to my family. I eventually lost 150 pounds and regained my life.
Here are five things to think about to help you reveal your blind spots:
1. Be honest with yourself. Others may codify you with platitudes. Oftentimes the honesty needs to come from within.
2. Be proactive. Once you part the curtain and look inside yourself find one thing to change.
3. Be brave. Share your blind spot with someone.
4. Remind yourself that you are strong. Remember a success from the past.
5. Put fear behind you. Get started!
Where are you today?
Are there parts of yourself that you’re hiding behind layers of insecurity? Seeing what you need to change can be scary, but the end result is beautiful.
That’s living life juicy!
Diane is the author of a blog entitled, Fit to the Finish.