When you’re around someone who is slipping off the rails, you have to keep track of what normal is supposed to look like. Otherwise, you’ll get caught in a trap like a frog slowly boiling in water. This can happen at work, at home, at school or with a close friend.
When change is gradual, do you notice?
The premise is that if a frog is placed in boiling water, it will jump out, but if it is placed in cold water that is slowly heated, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death. The story is often used as a metaphor for the inability or unwillingness of people to react to threats that occur gradually wikipedia
Because people reveal their strange behavior gradually, the people around them don’t seem to notice that anything is wrong. In addition, humans tend to think the best of people. If you find yourself making excuses for someone’s behavior — at an increasing rate — then maybe it’s time for you to get some space.
Eminem – Stan (censored version from Vevo)
DramaGuru Analysis: Are you in too deep?
Yes, you’re a strong person. But that doesn’t mean you should constantly push uphill to satisfy someone’s demands.
Find people who help you feel balanced (normal) again. Identify the pattern and then go through the steps. At what point do you feel like you’re losing control?
Notice if you’re the one filling in the gaps, pretending that things will get back to normal once something new or different happens — or once you get better at doing something — or being someone else.
Don’t try to change or adjust the behavior of the person who is losing it.
Get yourself together. Have you allowed the water to get too hot? Figure out what you need to do next.
It’s not about being perfect. There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s something wrong with the situation. You’re allowing someone to drain and control your energy.
Stop waiting and hoping that things will get better.
Before the water gets too hot, get out of the pot.
Next, figure out how you got in hot water in the first place. Do you want to be cooked?
It’s important to figure out when and how you ended up with so much heat around you.
Each one, teach one.
Gradual change is deadly. Everything you do to help yourself is an example for someone else to follow.