Who Makes the Rules?
The first mistake most people make is thinking that everyone plays by the same rules.
That is actually not true
Everyone plays by their own rules. Plus, humans change the rules to benefit their position — as needed — but especially, when it makes them look good.
When you choose to take on a UFC fighter like Anthony “Rumble” Johnson in a verbal dispute, you better be ready to play by “Rumble’s Rules of Engagement”.
Rumble doesn’t seem to have a gentle side when it comes to fighting. He makes no differentiation between fighting with women and fighting with men. According to reports, his Facebook rants and his follow-up comments, he’s just as rough in his dealings with women as he is with men.
When I saw Rumble in person
The photos of Rumble Johnson (above and below) were taken by me at the UFC 118 Fan Expo in Boston, MA. When I saw him, “I remember thinking, “How does that big dude make weight at 170?”
I could have approached him to ask to take a picture with him. He was behind a rope barricade with just one other person. Ooh! Opportunity to NOT stand in line! It would only take a few seconds to snap the photo.
Rumble glanced at me, standing there with my camera
And then he turned his body slightly away from me. I got the impression, he wasn’t interested in having his picture taken. I could have spoken up and charmed my way into getting the other guy to hold my Sony camera and take the picture. But something stopped me. I took the hint and left. I felt uncomfortable interrupting his conversation.
It’s funny because instead of taking photos, my camera was set on video. Twice. One 6 seconds. One two seconds. Then I gave up. These two images are screenshots from my mini vids. Instead of correcting my mistake and using more seconds to take a better picture, I gave up.
Instead of asserting my rights, I gave up
The point is: I felt intimidated by his physical presence. All I wanted was a photo. I was at the Fan Expo where fighters pose with fans. I paid for the privilege. I stood in (long) lines hoping to get a turn before the fighter’s schedule had him move to another spot. I suffered the consequence of the one or two shots,then move on rule — whether the picture turned out well or not (fuzzy, blinking, etc.) I followed that rule or had to deal with the noisy grumbling of the people still waiting in line for their turn.
Maybe Rumble thought that if he allowed me to take his photo, then people would form a line and he wouldn’t get a break. Who knows?
DramaGuru Breakdown: Anthony “Rumble” Johnson (weight-lifting) vs Woman (yoga)
That story serves as my introduction to Rumble’s recent disturbing behavior against a woman. Anthony “Rumble” Johnson is slated to face Jimi Manuwa at UFC 191
Round One: Being Entitled
Setting the Stage: There’s a woman practicing yoga on a mat. Rumble Johnson thinks the woman should move because she’s in the way of people lifting weights at the gym. He lets her know she needs to move. Woman says she has the right to be there. Doesn’t move (brave woman). Words are exchanged. Rumble tosses the woman’s yoga mat.
Rumble’s Rules: I rely on my personal power (I’ll fight you!)
- I fight with women as if they are men.
- If you question me, expect to be crushed.
- My sense of humor won’t amuse you.
- My punishment will be more than necessary.
- I will have the last word.
Yoga Woman’s Rules: I rely on community expectations (other people will stand up for me)
- I’m entitled to be here as much as you are.
- You can’t push me around because you’re a man.
- I was here first!
- I’m calling the manager!
- You’re gonna get it! Everyone is on my side.
As a fighting stance, “Being Entitled”ended up not working for either combatant
What went wrong? It could look like the woman was the victim and Rumble was the bully. But in fact, both Rumble and Yoga Woman took the same fight position. She fought back! She’s just as stubborn as Rumble. At this point in the battle, she’s not a victim. But, she lost the fight.
In my “DramaGuru Revelation” game it’s called, “The Vulture”. I’m entitled. Everyone should cater to me.
DramaGuru Card Number 16: The Vulture
— The Cut (@TheCut) August 19, 2015
Round Two: The Power of Certainty
Rumble Johnson is upset by this exchange. Tossing the mat wasn’t enough. Next, he takes his anger to Facebook and insults the woman repeatedly to make certain that she feels publicly shamed. When he starts hurling insults, he's an opponent shaped like a bully. Click To Tweet It starts out, “To the ugly girl in the gym built like a bag of dry dog food…” Rumble eventually deleted the Facebook post, after being encouraged to do so by his management team. Apparently, Rumble didn’t think the verbal defeat in the gym was punishment enough. He escalated the situation with his Facebook rant. In the world of DramaGuru, an ugly Facebook rant is called a “Millie Attack”, a sneak attack designed to humiliate, shame and overwhelm the victim. When he starts hurling insults, he’s an opponent shaped like a bully. In round 2, Yoga Woman becomes a victim of a bully’s attack.
Round Three: The Apology
Paraphrase of how Rumble expresses himself, “Y’all know how I am. Love me or leave me.” Now, Rumble is speaking to his audience of supporters and non-supporters. He’s still in the “Entitled” position which means the apology is insincere. It’s perfunctory behavior based on being caught and disapproved of by the community. But now, Rumble has added an attack. From my DramaGuru game, the attack in play now is called, “The Eddie”, named after a character in a 50’s TV show called, “Leave it to Beaver”. When you’re employing “The Eddie attack”, you say things like, “No one will support you because everyone likes me more than they like you.”
Winner by Losing
This time, Yoga Woman wins the battle, but not the war. Perhaps, she will be compensated for emotional pain and suffering. Maybe she’ll have to end her membership at the gym. Or else, she stays and Rumble leaves. But in fact, fighting with Rumble is a lose-lose situation because he’s playing Rumble’s game. And unless you’re a UFC fighter in the 205 division, you should probably let him win.
Rumble’s Blind Spot: Too Rough, Too Cruel
Everyone has a blind spot. In MMA, another fighter would call it “a hole in his game”. Because of Rumble’s history with allegations of domestic abuse, I believe Rumble has no relationship with the word “gentle”. It’s hard to believe that Rumble couldn’t figure out how to make a simple request. If he thought the woman wouldn’t move, then asking the manager of the gym to speak with the woman would have been a gentle way to settle things. Keep it playful! All men have a gentle side. I wonder who Rumble reserves that space for. Or maybe, because of his blind spot, he doesn’t have rules for gentle play with others. When other people see your blind spot — and you don’t — they can exploit that hole in your game at will. Someone on Facebook made reference to that in his comment under Ramble’s apology:
Gareth Mee: Hahahaha I read your original post and loved every word of it!! It’s very easy to imagine that she was actually a plant or trying to hit on you Anthony “Rumble” Johnson…
Cat and Mouse
In the case of the flying yoga mat, Anthony “Rumble” Johnson fell into a trap of his own making. If the woman on the yoga mat knew that more than one woman had accused Rumble of domestic violence, then it’s easy to see how the trap could be set. Just wind him up with a battle of who’s more deserving of space in the gym and poof! You have a guy willing to go on Facebook with a vile rant that the people around him are probably used to hearing. That’s just how Anthony is. That’s his way. That’s how Anthony treats women — whether they have his children or are just someone random. The dude is a ticking time-bomb. And no, Anthony “Rumble” Johnson really doesn’t get it. By not sharing a balanced view of who he is as a man, Rumble attracts support from people who encourage behavior that gets him in hot water.
When you seek revenge, the pattern continues
Justine Patricia Werline: Oh whatever I’m not even a pro athlete and I would have done the same thing. I can’t stand females so desperate for attention that they purposefully prance around and stretch in front of men lifting weights. Some stupid bitch at my gym did something similar only she was doing Zumba in the weight area with her headphones on and her and I had a little chat because she was in the way of my training session. I was like bitch GTFO of here. Do your Zumba BS upstairs with the rest of the basics! Anthony, you’re fine and you’re only being ridiculed because she has a vagina. Keep doing you dude. Take a page from Rondas book NO APOLOGIES!
And a response from a more balanced guy
On Twitter, a guy asks Rumble if he thinks it’s OK to pull a yoga mat out from under a woman. Rumble responds, “Yup.”
Update One Week Later: Looks like Rumble Johnson is doing the right thing now. He will seek counseling and has made an apology that was acceptable to the Yoga Woman.
Practice Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) for your mouth. This post is a blue belt DramaGuru lesson.
photo credit: Anthony “Rumble” Johnson Facebook rant