Being Bullied isn’t Your Fault
In the search for a good cornerman or hero or rescuer, you sometimes have to ask and ask and ask. People get busy. They don’t want to get involved. But someone will. Don’t stop asking for help for yourself or for another person. If you don’t, who will?
Some bullies pick on you precisely because you are confident, powerful or the center of attention. They want to weaken you and make you feel less powerful.
“Bullying is when one person hurts, harms or is mean to another person over and over again. Some bullies may be mean by repeatedly tripping, hitting or pushing someone, while other bullies may leave a person out or not invite them to join games or group activities. Other bullies may send mean messages through text or social media over and over again.” Youtube Video from Amaze.South Africa about how to respond to bullying.
Develop a habit of connecting with people who can help you
The main message to remember about any bullying situation, is to make sure you don’t isolate yourself. You have nothing to feel ashamed of. Often, you need more than one or two people to take on a bully. The bully has been getting away with his or her behavior. Only a unified effort will be successful and make the bullying stop.
If you allow a pesky problem, like a fly buzzing around you, to build up to a more dangerous Code Red level, you put yourself in danger. Take action when the problem is small!
If you always sit by yourself or try to be invisible, you will suffer greatly when a bully decides to antagonize you. You cannot win this type of fight alone.
Reach out! Keep reaching, until someone reaches back.
In a recent NYTimes Opinion piece, the author, David Leonhardt, suggested:
“Every workplace and school should be asking itself: Do people here know how to report a suspicion of abuse? Do they feel comfortable doing so even when, as is typical, they have only an incomplete sense of it?…Every leader should also read case studies, to understand how frequently other leaders, at Horace Mann, NPR and elsewhere, have bungled these situations, usually through cowardice. Often, a victim or someone else did summon the courage to come forward, only to have the institution do little or nothing.” The Conspiracy of Inaction on Sexual Abuse and Harassment
Practice Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) for your mouth. This post is an all belt levels lesson.
Storyblocks: used with permission, woman with black eye and tape over her mouth
Photo505: photo effect of Cornerman Agent September and an angry man pointing his finger