But everyone else says it too!
Changing how people think, speak and act takes a conscious effort. But sometimes, a message (or a wrong idea) unconsciously slips in because it gets repeated, without being challenged…over and over again.
Song lyrics are a great way to convey a world view. People agree by singing along, wedging the idea into their brains and the collective consciousness.
Consider Ray Charles’ classic, “I Got a Woman”
Ray’s song supports a point of view from days gone by, “…a woman’s place is in the home”.
But even worse, from Ray’s point of view, he implies that all the work should be on the woman’s side. Ray is bragging that his woman is there to support him with money, lovin’ and being endlessly agreeable.
Nothing is mentioned about what he does for her. Because, of course, she is so lucky to have his attention, he doesn’t have to do much of anything, except show up to be taken care of.
Sounds like a Peacock to me…
And he gets away with it.
“She’s there to love me
Both day and night
Never grumbles or fusses
Always treats me right
Never runnin’ in the streets
Leavin’ me alone
She knows a woman’s place
Is right there, now, in her home”
Since Ray Charles made “I Got a Woman” famous, we’ve moved on from that old-fashioned idea. Now we know that a woman’s place is wherever she wants it to be.
But, no matter how enlightened you think you are, you have ideas lodged in your head that you believe because you accepted their validity after frequent repetition.
How else can you explain men behaving badly and thinking that women mean “yes”, even when they say “NO!”.
I’m looking at you, Al Franken
Ugh! Messing with a woman — who is not your wife — when she’s sleeping — is wrong in so many ways. This behavior earns Al Franken a top position on the list of Creepy Wally attacks.
(Former) US Senator Al Franken’s parents didn’t teach him that kind of humor. But, some of his friends did. And I guess, because he got away with it, he felt like there was nothing wrong with it. At the time, he was being funny!
Humor works when people agree with your jokes. It’s only funny, if the person you’re teasing, thinks it’s funny too.
Was Leeann amused?
Accusing people of being “losers” for not enjoying your escapades only works in the moment where you have control and power.
Your jokes will eventually catch up with and backfire if you practice:
- Taking advantage of a weakness to shame a person in front of others
- Taking liberties when you’ve been given access to a private space
Consequences Catch Up With You Eventually
Don’t get me wrong, I love Ray Charles and his music. But even so, it’s important to listen and notice what you agree with and what you don’t.
And, I’m sure that Al Franken’s friends and family are standing by him in spite of his crass behavior. None of us are perfect.
But Al’s public life suffered. He resigned from his position in disgrace, even though many people wanted him to stay in office.
BusinessInsider: “A handful of Franken’s colleagues expressed regret for calling on him to resign without waiting out a full and complete ethics investigation into the claims by eight women with whom he allegedly engaged in sexual misconduct.
Resigning ‘was his choice to make,’ said Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse, a Democrat. ‘I think if he had decided to stay, he would have found a lot of support’.” Al Franken just finally announced when he will resign
Practice Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) for your mouth.This article is a blue belt DramaGuru lesson.
Lyrics to “I Got a Woman” written by Renald Richard and Ray Charles
Used with permission from Storyblocks, confusion meter and confused man, shrugging shoulders