People outside of the relationship can’t tell you’re in trouble. They consider the person you’re complaining about to be blameless, harmless and a pillar of the community. Or at least, that’s how it’s seem to you.
But everyone — even me, even you — has an A side and a B side.
The A side is your normal, easy-going nice persona. The A side (suave, sophisticated, trusted, like Dr. Jekyll) works hard to keep structures and routines in place to make your world safe, protected and moving forward.
The B side gets annoyed, trolls people on social media, starts arguments and generally acts like a jerk — or much worse than that. That’s what’s known as the evil side of Dr. Jekyll, who prefers to be called Mr. Hyde.
Keep a Stiff Upper Lip
First, you pretend it doesn’t bother you. As far as playing DramaGuru, that means you willingly step into the Pretender role — in the audience — watching yourself from afar. And, instead of crying or shouting out loud, you let out a silent scream instead.
The A Side is what people pay attention to.
So, when you tentatively reach out for help, people say you must be imagining things. But really, what they’re saying is, “I don’t want to get involved with those kinds of personal issues. I want to stay friends (on good terms) with the person you’re talking about.”
The B Side is the mean, dark side.
Think internet troll leaving mean comments. A husband punching his wife in the face in the elevator. A co-worker deleting a file you need to complete an assignment. The B side is the scary side. The Mr. Hyde side.
Power, Control and Domination
At the white belt level, a DramaGuru player should understand what it means to take a position and launch an attack. So, if I say arrogant Peacock (position) working a combo Eddie to a Grandiose Attack, a white belt level player would recognize the code words used to translate the following:
With his chest puffed out and a sly wink to his friends, Larry boldly got everyone’s attention and then asked me — in a loud, booming voice — how my job search was going. He knew I was having a hard time finding a new job. I felt isolated, full of shame and embarrassment, as I answered, “Just fine. I’m sure I’ll find something soon.”
First Black Belt Villain Introduced
This month’s articles covered dark subjects, like domestic violence.
In September, the first Black Belt Villain was inducted into the DramaGuru Hall of Shame. However, emotional gaslighting and physical abuse are tools used by opponents and adversaries at any level.
Shifting in and out of multiple positions, launching one attack after another, con man Marc Hatton provides ample material to study the patterns and behaviors of a sneaky snake. Hopeful Divorcee Gave £500,000 To Charismatic Con Man Marc Hatton
And a second Black Belt Villain (not named) who seduced a prison guard into setting up attacks — on his own wife and child — by allowing the real culprit to live with him and his family. When an Irresistible Snake is in Your Blind Spot
Why stop at two?
A third Black Belt Villain emerged. UFC fighter, Bec Rawlings has an ex-husband named Dan Hyatt who is violent towards women.
Dan Hyatt gets inducted into the DramaGuru Hall of Shame for attempting to persuade the audience that HE was the victim — and not his wife.
Many thanks to Dan Hyatt for providing more than 5,000 words to demonstrate how a Collector uses language to cast a shadow on his victim and provide protection for himself. Read this and learn what clues and lies to look for: When a Collector Speaks, Avoid the Trap by Listening Carefully
Thank you ☺️ also I do have copies of my police reports & family violence order against him.. he’ll say anything to look the victim 🙄
— Bec Rawlings (@RowdyBec) September 19, 2017
Training Material For Blue Belt DramaGuru Players
Blue Belt Level Villains: Plain old rudeness…with karmic payback. Boomerang Effect! ‘I ghosted my ex and she’s about to be my new boss’
And good old, work place bullying. Turns out, firemen heroes are just like the rest of us. If they can’t win, they will make sure you don’t win your game either. Firefighter Bullying Flattens Loyalty, Performance
Opponents love to use The Baby Jane Attack. Opponents usually use transitions and other smaller attacks to work up to the Baby Jane attack. They use the other DramaGuru attacks to weaken you first. The Baby Jane: Chaos, Punishment and Isolation
Know who your cornermen are. When you use DramaGuru tools to fight back, you’ll need some cool-headed, thoughtful and dynamic people in your corner to stand beside you.
- Gaslighting! Truncate Your Story Using DramaGuru Tools
- Recognizing Gaslighting And Why You Can’t Make It Stop
- What’s Your Cornerman Style? Thoughtful or Dynamic?
DramaGuru Magazine September 2017