Your role is the place you’re standing in as the fight, interruption, disruption, argument, etc. starts. In the spark of that moment, if you can identify your feelings and thoughts — and choose a role, you’re half-way to neutral. Roles are fluid. You can give up or shift into a different role whenever you feel like it.
Neutral is a Role
From neutral, you can choose how to fight back, whether to fight back and how to stay calm. In neutral, you can rest, restore and think clearly.
So far, I have identified over 70 DramaGuru Roles.
The roles help to start your analysis of the problem. Once you have a starting point, you can work through different DramaGuru Positions, Transitions and Attacks to help you get to an effective game plan.
You might say, “The role I’m playing is acting like a person who:
- is being a bottleneck, slowing down the action on purpose.
- is neutral, breathing evenly, waiting for the right moment to answer.
- isn’t welcome or liked…like someone who doesn’t fit in.
Don’t Let a Collector Collect You!
Maybe this time, the fight won’t escalate. Maybe the fight won’t start at all. Or best of all, you’ll realize that someone attempted to “recruit you”, to entrap you, to ensnare you in their web.
A Collector draws you off neutral into angry, depressed, disconnected and discouraged. Collectors can also make you feel powerful because they love to dominate and control other people. If you are happiest causing dysfunction, then you are a Collector.
Collectors are the villains in my game called “DramaGuru”.
Don’t let them pull you out of neutral.
As I write about each one, I will list the hyper-link under the role being discussed.
Understanding your role helps to establish how to interrupt your pattern and change your game.
Because I am just beginning to reveal each role, there is no particular order. The numbering system helps me keep track. I won’t start at number one and I won’t work through them in any particular order.
What’s Your Favorite Role to Play?
That’s right. Even the role you choose to play illustrates your pattern. You’ll choose the same roles over and over again. The people around you know you what to expect from you. Nothing new, rather boring, actually.
Standing in Neutral is your only hope of ever thinking of something new to say.
11. Neutral: the best place to stand to keep from being pulled into unwinnable wars.
25. The Bottleneck: Who is causing the back-up or slow-down? Cornerman Quote: Don’t Be A Bottleneck!
36. People Don’t Like Me Cornerman Quote: Some People Will Never Like You. Stop wasting time trying to win their approval.
- Don’t Be A Bottleneck